I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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