I could have mohawked her pubes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
