on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
