That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
