I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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