my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
