Non-Jews are for practice
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize