are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
