do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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