Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
