You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize