We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
