Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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