guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
