you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
