So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
