her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
