You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
then he tried to convert me to islam
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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