I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
