I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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