I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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