if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think i got beer on your cat.
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