So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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