i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
