She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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