bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
my poor anus
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
