I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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