Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
