Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I looked at my own cervix.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
