she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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