Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
