does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
