people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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