Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize