So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
