Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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