im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
