I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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