i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
