he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
