Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
