I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
