Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
