It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
