We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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