i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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