I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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