is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize