Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
