Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
