i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
