i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
