saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
