he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
