i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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