i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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