Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
