Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
