Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
