Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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